Alabama car thief Randy Dewayne Vert is no doubt a shiftless man; one whose attempt last month to evade authorities after stealing a delivery truck fell flat as a pancake because he had no clue how to drive a stick shift. Whoops.
The hilarious incident occurred on June 14, when Jefferson County authorities investigating a report of “suspicious vehicle sitting” were told by a bystander that a man had just stolen a Kenworth T-300 flatbed delivery truck nearby, according to AL.com.
What followed was one of the most stunning — and hilarious — car chases in law enforcement history. Because he had no idea how to switch the truck’s manual transmission out of first gear, Vert wound up cruising the highway at a blistering speed of 30 mph.
Deputies casually followed the truck along Interstate 59 until its transmission seized and the vehicle came to an abrupt stop. Vert was promptly arrested and charged with “first-degree theft of property, reckless endangerment, attempting to elude and resisting arrest,” as noted by AL.com.
Speaking later with reporters, Jefferson County Sheriff’s Office Chief Deputy Alex Christian appeared to be quite happy that Vert literally didn’t have a clue.
“Thank God he couldn’t find second gear — the pursuit could have gotten all the way up to 35 mph,” he quipped.
Watch the local news coverage below:
“I got a five-speed in there, and they couldn’t figure out how to get it going,” the victim, Nancy Frederickson, told local station KOMO at the time. She wound up standing by the car, watching as the boys repeatedly failed to get it to work
In that case, at least the teens had enough sense to give up from the get-go and simply run away on foot. Vert, on the other hand, instead tried to run away in a vehicle he couldn’t even drive — and for that, we hereby dub him today’s worst criminal in the world.
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